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In the Name of Allaah, the most Merciful, the One Who bestows Mercy

‘Adab Shar’eeyah [Lesson 001]

Imaam Abuz-Zubair Saleem [LKIC]

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[After praising Allaah and invoking the blessings and peace of Allaah upon His messenger]

May Allaah bless these gatherings, may Allaah bless our times here and may Allaah open our minds to what is said in these circles because most of what we learn here - the benefits from these only come by implementing what we learn in them. Obviously this is said for all circles, but ‘Adab in particular, these (knowledge and implementation of knowledge) are hand in hand. It is not something you commit to your memory or understand a few things.

‘Adabs are something you acquire by interacting with other people. It is not something you hear about and learn and then go back home, and mashaaAllaah you “know” ‘Adab.

‘Adab is something that you are either born with, as the messenger of Allaah (saaws) said about one of his companions (raa), or something that you acquire. How do you acquire ‘Adab? You acquire ‘Adab firstly through learning and then spending the rest of your time trying to implement that in your life, moulding your character in line with the Islaamic ‘Adab.

[The students attempted to give meanings for ‘Adab by translating it as 'Manners', 'Etiquettes', 'Character' etc.]

One cannot find a precise word in the English language that truly extols the meaning that this Arabic word ‘Adab carries (as for many other Arabic words), because it is very deep and very profound and it encompasses many meanings.

In this society, ‘Ethics’ is the word that we use to refer to the way we behave externally. In Arabic that can be called ‘Adab. However, in Arabic, ‘Adab is to do with a lot more than how a person externally behaves. When a person has a choice of doing something in a particular way which is neither blameworthy nor praiseworthy, and then he does it in a way that is better and praiseworthy, this is ‘Adab. It is a matter of doing the best thing possible, taking the best route, doing things for which a person is praised, for which someone may say, “MashaaAllaah this brother did the RIGHT thing, the NOBLE thing.” This applies not only to what one sees externally but also internally. What is meant by internally or internal ‘Adab?

A lot of people when they are faced with calamities, they completely lose it, their faith begins to shrink, they begin to think why do they pray and practice such and such deeds, and they scream, cry, tear their clothes and go crazy, because internally they have absolutely no ‘Adab of how to react to these eventualities in life.

Likewise a person, if something good happens to him, he becomes so overjoyed, over-excited; “MashaaAllaah, I have so much of this world, the best car, the best wife, the best house, I’m living in a mansion, I have so much money saved up in my bank account, I am so successfully (in the worldly sense)”. This person does not know how to behave when something good comes to him.

The same thing with Tawakkul. You will find people, a lot of people who have knowledge of Islaam, something we have seen for the past two decades, people who are leaders of communities, head of da’wah; if put on the table, they can give a whole lesson on any Islaamic science, but when it comes to the crunch, when their faith is tested, they cannot maintain stability. Why? Because they had all the knowledge, but they missed out the first stage of knowledge - ‘Adab. Their soul wasn’t stable, they didn’t have a strong personality. They probably did not have the correct intention, they were probably in it for fame. When it came to the crunch, they changed, they took a u-turn, all the principles that they once held so dearly to themselves, they completely sold out and completely watered down, because their priorities were wrong to start with, their personalities were totally weak, so when the pressure came and they couldn’t stand it and they cracked. This is what ‘Adab is.

Linguistically speaking, ‘Adab refers to elegance, gratefulness and good treatment.

There is an ‘Adab of dealing with your parents; for example if your mother says something you don’t like, she is annoying you, asking you one question repetitively, you don’t turn around and shout, “Haven’t you heard, I have told you 100s of times, I don’t want it, I don’t want it, I don’t want it, why do I have to repeat it a hundred times?” This is not ‘Adab. ‘Adab is that if your mother asks you a hundred times, then you reply back to her a hundred times, “No, mother thank you very much; no, mother thank you very much…” This is the ‘Adab of dealing with your parents who are old and perhaps their treatment towards you is becoming uncomfortable (teenage pressure-cooker).

Likewise there is an ‘Adab of seating in front of a teacher. For example in the Middle East, they find it very offensive when the teacher is giving a lesson, and the student is sitting there with his feet stretched out. So when someone comes from the Middle East and sees this kind of behaviour, they are upset, as they are not used to this and they may even get angry.

The society in which we live, we are not taught these little values and how to behave in (for example) study circles. One should keep in mind that cultures differ, and it is not necessarily a matter of right and wrong (actions).

In every society there is a way of behaving and a way of conducting yourself. Such as lying down on a desk in the school classroom during a lesson, the student will get suspended etc. There’s a way of behaving at schools.

GPs, for example, have a code of conduct that they have to adhere to. They are a respected member of the community, holding public position. If they do not sign up to the code of conduct/regulation required, they cannot become a GP. One of the things they have to abide by is upright character, honesty and respecting patient confidentiality.

If the GP fails to report a crime, they get struck off the register. If the GP is involved in a crime that simply puts a question mark on their integrity even though a sentence has been served, the crime has nothing to do with abusing the patient, they still get struck off the register and they cannot practice on their patients. They have a profession where they have to abide by a certain code of conduct.

If you are a member of the bar - lawyer/barrister - there are certain things you cannot do or say. If you are a member of the Parliament (without encouraging anyone to get involved in this) there are certain things they cannot do while being in the profession.

Likewise, when we are inside the Masjid, there are certain ‘Adabs we need to maintain and when we are outside of the Masjids, as Muslims there are certain ‘Adabs we need to maintain. For us it is not restricted to a certain profession as the (aforementioned) people (and their likes) may understand it, but for us Islaam penetrates all aspects of our lives, not just the way we give lectures or come into the Masjid or fast or make Hajj. Rather it extends to things as minute as how we go to sleep at night, waking up in the morning, how to conduct oursleves in the toilet when nobody is watching us.

Every single minute aspect in the life of a Muslim, there is an ‘Adab to it.

There are ways of doing things and then there are better ways of doing things.

Another area of human life which ‘Adab can involve is Akhlaaq - manners, character, how you come across, how you deal with people, how you speak with people, what they perceive of you, how approachable you are.

Due to all of this, seeing how comprehensive this word ‘Adab is, you cannot define this word in English except with multiple words, because it covers multiple things.

Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (r) is the famous muhaddith who wrote an explanation/commentary (Fath al-Baari) to the most authentic book (Saheeh al-Bukhaari) on the face of this Earth after the Qur’aan as far as the Muslim is concerned. Saheeh al-Bukhaari is the source we all refer to and Fath al-Baari is the most circulated commentary on Saheeh al-Bukhaari. Fath al-Bari consists of more than a dozen volumes.

This Imaam, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (r) said:

‘Adab is to behave in ones statements and actions in a praiseworthy manner and some describe it as adhering to the best of manners.

Another scholar Sahr al-Wardi (r), he said:

People with respect to ‘Adab are of different levels: those who specialize in wordly sciences (doctors, engineers etc.), those who are religious people and those who are special/spiritually enlightened (those who practice ascetism). The ‘Adab of the wordly people is like purity, eloquence in language, acquiring various sciences, reading about the histories of kings and Arabic poetry. As for the (average) religious people, along with acquiring knowledge, it is to discipline ones soul, tame ones limbs, refine ones character, guard against transgressing limits set by Allaah (swt), abandoning desires and to abstain from doubtful matters. As for the Zuhhaad, the people who devote their lives to Allaah (swt), worshipping him, purifying their souls, the ‘Adab for them is to be mindful of one’s heart, concentration on one’s inner-self and to endeavour to maintain equilibrium between one’s inner and outer-self.

Many people for instance, who do not have this balance, this equilibrium, may seem pious in public but in private what they do is corrupt, because what they do in private is not something they would like to do in public. You also get the opposite as well. You have people who belittle themselves in front of people (fearing Riyaa’, (showing off, which is a type of shirk)), some even go as far as committing sins (to give an impression that they are not practicing), but in private they regret and repent and worship Allaah. This is why it is important to have an equilibrium in your life, with your private state equal to your public state. So the level of your piety displayed in your public state should be equal to the level of piety displayed in your private state. The fear of Allaah you display in public is exactly the same as the fear of Allaah you display in private. Unlike people who pray around the brothers, but when they go back home they feel there is nobody is watching them and there is no one to remind them the time of prayer, so they do not pray.

The most important things that the Prophet (saaws) said regarding learning ‘Adab, especially one aspect of ‘Adab which is Akhlaaq are the following:

Aboo Hurairah (raa) reported: Messenger of Allaah (saaws) said, “The most perfect man in his faith among the believers is the one whose behaviour is most excellent; and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.”
[At-Tirmidhi]

Abood-Darda (raa) reported: The Prophet (saaws) said, “Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allaah hates one who utters foul or coarse language.”
[At-Tirmidhi]

Ibn al-Qayyim (r) said:

“Religion (in its entirety) is al-khulooq (good manners/character) and whoever exceeds you in good character, he exceeds you in Deen and whoever is below you in good character, is below you in Deen.”

A lot of times we say about a person who is not a Muslim that he has excellent manners, excellent character, which may be true. His character towards us, human beings, maybe immaculate but perhaps it may not be accurate to say that he has a noble character, because his relationship, character, behaviour with Allaah (swt) might not be that good, especially if he does not worship Allaah and is committing shirk.

And (remember) when Luqmaan said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allaah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allaah is a great Zûlm (wrong) indeed.
[Al-Qur'aan - Soorah Luqman (031:013)]

So the person who is the greatest oppressor on the face of this Earth, how can he have Husn al-Khulooq? How can he have good character?

So it is very profound. Ibn al-Qayyim (r) said Deen is Khulooq, he did not just say this is in your dealing with people but also your dealing with Allaah. Dealing with your immediate family - wife, kids and parents, dealing with yourself, brothers in the Masjid and so on. The Deen in its entirety is interaction becuase Khulooq ultimately comes into action when you interact with people. Human beings are social animals.

And whoever is better than you in character, is better than you in Deen and whoever is not better than you in character is not better than you in Deen, as stated by Ibn al-Qayyim (r).

If we look around we see that we do not deal with each other in the best ways. We become angry very quickly, we see a person make a mistake and we just blast them in public, causing an embarrassment for them.

When do you realize that so and so does not have Husn al-Khulooq? When you place that person in a position where he has to interact with people (and his true face comes out) and if you do not put a person in such position, you will never know his character.

[Also another way is when you travel with a person, and you live with them, sharing tents, food and water and being their companion. Travelling brings out a person's true nature, because of the difficulties faced through journeying, and a person who does not have Husn al-Khulooq, he will completely lose it.]

One of the poets of the last century, Ahmed Shawki (Turkish-Egyptian poet), said something very profound:

“Nations endure for as long as do by their manners,

When their manners go away they too go away.”

It is said that “when the people lose their manners, that is when you cry tears over them.”

It is as if the one who loses their manners and the one who is dead are the same. This is the death of a nation.

So many times, Muslims go out and interact with the public. One person for instance is cheating another person, because he is a kaafir and this is ‘Daar al-Harb’ and everything is Halaal. So this leaves a bad impression on the kaafir person, that this man who has a beard, practices his religion and seems to be a Muslim is cheating me. Obviously by behaving this way one doesn’t make Islaam appealing to them. One is judged according to how they interact with people.

Someone travelling to a foreign country will judge it based on how its people behave and interact. For instance, in the Saudi society they do not have a concept of queueing up. Someone from England going there will find it rude and bizarre.

We are what our Akhlaaq are.

This is why the scholars in the past would focus on ‘Adab before they focused on anything else.

Many people, many “asaateedh”, many “shuyook”, the student of the shaikh so and so, the student of another shaikh so and so and the student of another grande shaikh so and so and so on; once you dig deep into this matter, you find out that this person only attended an open lecture of a shaikh in Makkah (for example) for one or two lessons or even half an hour after Maghrib during his Ummah trip and he comes back saying that he is a student of that shaikh. Many people think that this is being a student of that shaikh. SubhaanAllaah. What does it mean to be a student of someone?

A student, a tilmeed of a shaikh, is the one who literally accompanies the shaikh for years, in a sense that he visits him day in and day out. He sits with him, not just reading a book, but watching him as people come to him for problems, watching him interact, learning his manners, not for a day or two or a month or many but for a long time, such that it is said that he is the student of so and so.

So they spend their time with their shaikh learning his manners and his dealings with the people to become a proper student of the shaikh. They may start to study a small book (such as this) with their shaikh and it takes about 5-6 years to finish that book. So the student has to remain patient for 5-6 years and attend his circle on a regular basis, even if it is for half an hour and you have to endure the fact that sometimes you travel a great distance and the shaikh is not there and you come back the next week and again the shaikh is not there. During that period, the main objective is not to learn the book, because you can do that yourself, and if you do not understand then you can take it to the shaikh and he will clarify.

This is why the one of the Imaams of the Salaf, an-Nakh’ee (r), said that when they would approach a person to seek knowledge, they would first look at his manners, his prayers and his state and only then they would take hadeeth from him. If he has the ‘Adab, if he has Akhlaaq and his speech is good then they would take knowledge from him. If he does not have that, they weren’t after knowledge.

‘Umar (raa) said:

“Learn ‘Adab and then seek knowledge.”

In our time, it is the opposite. People learn knowledge first, before learning ‘Adab (or if learning it at all). Then they reach a stage of “super-stardom” and they have huge following, but no stability within themselves, and they end up wrecking havock in the Da’wah scene, because they have no ‘Adab.

Imaam Ahmad narrates from Ibn ‘Abbas (raa) in his Musnad that the Prophet (saaws) said: “Surely, the good ways and manners, and a sense of balance is a part from twenty-five parts of prophethood.”

Ibn ‘Abbas (raa) also said: “Learn ‘Adab, for it increases ones intellectual capacities, as it also indicates ones moral uprightness, it is ones intimate friend when one is lonely, a companion when one is estranged and wealth when one is poor.”

Aboo ‘Abdullaah al-Balkhee (r), one of the Imaams of the Salaf, said: “The ethics of seeking knowledge are more than the knowledge itself.”

This means that ‘Adab is a lot more and more time consuming than knowledge itself.

‘Abdullaah ibn Mubaarak (r) said: “A person does not become noble by learning a science, until he beautifies his knowledge with ‘Adab”.

Just as doctors and scientists have a certain code of conduct, people learning the Deen of Allaah also have to adhere to a code of conduct.

Al-Hajjawi(r), one of the Hanbali scholars, said:

“It is said that the likeness of faith is a city with five fortresses. The first fortress is of gold, the second is of silver, the third is of iron, the fourth is of baked bricks and the fifth is of unbaked bricks. So long as the people of the fortess continue to defend the fortress of unbaked bricks, the enemy would not crave the next fortress (of baked bricks). However if they neglect that fortress, then the enemy will crave for the second fortress and then the third until all of the fortresses are ruined. Likewise, faith is defended with five fortresses. The first is Certainty, then sincerity, then fulfilling and carrying out all obligations, then performing the sunan and lastly, guarding ones ‘Adab. Hence, so long as one is mindful is of his ‘Adab, the devil does not crave for it. As soon as he is negligent of his ‘Adab, the devil then craves for his sunan acts, then his obligatory acts, then his sincerity and finally his certainty, the certainty of the heart (and it diminishes).”

This is why Imaam Ahmad (r) said that the person who misses his sunan prayers on a regular basis, he is a wicked person and his testimony is not to be accepted in court. How can someone be a faasiq for not praying his sunan prayers? Because a person who misses out on his Sunan prayers, regularly, it is most probable that he misses out on some of his obligatory prayers and if he misses his obligatory prayers then he is not an upright Muslim.

If you have a carrier bag, too weak to carry a heavy load, it will break. Your personality is like that carrier bag, and that needs to be consolidated and strengthened before it can carry the heavy responsibility of knowledge. If a person does not have a strong personality, and only craves knowledge and learns knowledge for the sake of it, then when it comes to the crunch and the the time for test comes, they fall apart.

This is why we see so many people, when they go abroad to study ‘Aqeedah, and become specialists in that field, when it comes to the crunch, after they come back to this county, all their ‘Aqeedah is watered down and as if their ‘Aqeedah was written and stored in text books to be placed in shelves, never meant to be practiced. So when they come here, due to societial pressure, everything to do with love and hate for the sake of Allaah (for example) goes down the drain. That is the difference between a person with a strong personality, who can take responsibility of Wahy (revelation) and serve his role with responsibility, withstanding pressure and a person who is only in it as an acadamean, only seeking to take in the knowledge and this is why many people change.

[Q&A. Then, announcements made about as-Siraat class starting on Monday the 14th of December insshaaAllaah. It's about maNhaj!]

[Jokes in the class: It is not really wise to send a new Muslim off to foreign countries in the Middle East. They might go there thinking "I am here my brothers, in Daar al-Hijrah, let's go do Jihaad against the kuffaar and the Qutoobees" and he is standing there, with no welcome banner, and cabbys waiting to rip him off!"]

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