Why cry over spilt milk?
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Bismilllahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Praise be to Allah
Some people believe that the traits they have been nurtured on, which they are recognised by and which have left a certain impression above them on the minds of others can never be changed. They surrender to this thought, just as a person would surrender to the fact that he cannot change his height or skin colour.
On the other hand, an intelligent person thinks that to change one’s nature can perhaps be easier than changing his clothes. Our nature is not like spilt milk, that cannot be scooped up again. Rather, we are always in control of it and there are certain ways in which we can alter it, and even the way we think!
Ibn Hazm mentions in his work, Tawq- al-Hamamah a tale of a famous Spanish businessman: There was a competition between him and four other businessmen and as a result, they disliked him. They were therefore determined to aggravate him. One morning, he left his house to go to his workplace, wearing a white shirt and turban. One of the four businessmen met him on the way. He greeted the Spanish businessman, looked at his turban and said, “How beautiful this yellow turban is!”
The businessman said, “Are you blind? This turban is white!”
He replied, “No, it is yellow! It is yellow, but it looks good.”
The businessman left him and moved on until he met the second of the. He greeted him, then looked at his turban and said, “You look handsome today! Your clothes look fine! Especially this green turban!”
The businessman said, “Actually, the turban is white.”
“No, it is green,” he insisted.
He replied, “It is white! Go away from me!”
The businessman walked on, talking to himself, and every now and then looking at the flank of his turban to make sure that it was indeed white. He reached his shop and opening up the lock. Meanwhile, there came to him the third of the four businessmen and said, “How beautiful this morning is! And especially your clothes, they look fine! And your beautiful blue turban only adds to your good looks!”
The businessman looked at his turban to ascertain its colour, then rubbed his eyes and said, “Dear brother! My turban is white!”
“No, it is blue. But the important thing is that it looks good, so don’t worry!” the man said, and left, as the businessman began to yell after him saying, “The turban is white!” as he looked at his turban to ascertain its colour once again.
He sat in his shop for a while and couldn’t take his eyes of his turban. Meanwhile, the fourth person came and said, “Greetings! MashaAllah! From where did you buy this red turban?”
The businessman shouted, “My turban is blue!”
He replied, “No, it is red.”
The businessman said, “No, it is green! Actually, no, it is white!No, it is blue, or black!” He then laughed out loud, then screamed, then began to cry and then started to jump up and down!
Ibn Hazm said, ‘Thereafter, I would see him in the streets of Spain. He had gone mad and children would pelt stones at him.’
If these four people, by using their skills, were able to change not only the nature of the person but also his mind, then how about the tried and tested skills that are supported by revelation which a person can put into practice in order to become closer to Allah?
Put into practice whatever good skills you come across and you will be happy.
If you say to me, “I cannot.”
I would say to you, “At least try!”
If you say to me, “I don’t know how.”
I would say, “Yes, you do!”
The Prophet, May the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him, said, “Knowledge is only gained through learning, and clemency is only gained through perseverance,”
Muadh ibn Jabal explains the benefits of knowledge in beautiful words; he said, “Seek knowledge, because seeking it for the sake of Allah is a worship and knowing it makes you more God-fearing; and searching for it is jihad, teaching it to those who do not know is charity, reviewing and learning it more is like tasbeeh. Through knowledge Allah will be known and worshipped. With the knowledge Allah will elevate people and make them leaders and imams, who will in turn guide other people.”
The hero is the one who goes beyond his ability to improve his skills, until he becomes able to improve and perhaps even alter the skills of others.
It is also important to note the effects of loosing ones state of mind due to meddlesome or pestering people. Many of us loose “our cool” and don’t realise what we say or do at times and worst cases are like the businessman who loose it completely. Insha’Allah it is a lesson for all of us, to remain patient and stay calm no matter what difficult situations we are put in and learn how to deal with troublesome people the way the Prophet, May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, did.
—
Sources-
Once again, extracts taken from “Enjoy your life” by Dr Muhammad’ Abd Al-Rahaman Al-’Arifi
and Fatawa Ibn Taymiyya vol.10, p.39
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“then how about the tried and tested skills that are supported by revelation which a person can put into practice in order to become closer to Allah?”
I don’t understand this ^ part. Can someone please clarify?
Ya akh Muwahhid… add some pictures to your post. Google them, save them then upload them.
There… much better walhamdulillaah!
astaghfirullaah… why did you add a picture of a spanish aunty?
Firstly, its a spanish uncle. How dare you!
Secondly, it goes well with the post as our spanish uncle has a multi-coloured turban. Is it red? Blue? Green? Or white? Hmmm…
mate that’s like some sort of african hijaab being worn by a european aunty…
it’s definitely not a guy…
this picture is much more wikkid
http://www.penndhamaka.com/img/costumes/bhangracostumes.jpg
oi paaji balle balle !
Can someone answer my question please - Many than ks
Bismilllahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Apologies for late reply
From looking at the text and the context it’s been displayed in and referring back to the Qur’aan and sunnah, the “skills” here can be considered to be patience, or having taqwa, or treating someone good when they have done bad to you, and others. If we look at the countless stories of the Prophets and the companions, through hadith and qur’anic ayahs, they have been tested and put on trial, with calamities and difficulties, but by having patience and taqwa, a skill in which they apply to them selves, by the will of Allah, they overcome the hardships.
“And why should we not put our trust in Allah while He indeed has guided us our ways? And we shall certainly bear with patience all the hurt you may cause us, and in Allah (Alone) let those who trust, put their trust.”
[14:12]
And to treat someone good when they have treated you bad and then to forgive them, is a difficult skill to apply, but insha’Allah by having patience a person can change the way they are,
“And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah. ”
[42:43]
And there are many ayahs, and hadith showing the times when the companions or Prophets used wisdom and bared difficulties with patience
Allahu’alam
I hope that clarifies insha’Allah