How to deal with a meddlesome person
Reading time: 6 - 10 minutes
Bismilllahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Praise be to Allah
The following post Insha’Allah will further add to the previous two posts and may we benefit from it too Insha’Allah, for those who haven’t read it here are the links.
http://cityisoc.com/3351-do-you-really-have-to-know/
http://cityisoc.com/3555-why-cry-over-spilt-milk/
For those who have read it, it is clear that in those situations, there are many things we can say or actions we take and how we go about it can alter the situation.
Many times, when we are in difficult situations or dealing with troublesome people, we don’t always know how to react, or what we should say or do and we even think to our selves, how would so-and-so do this, or “if head brother/sister was here what would they do?”, or even did the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, do this, or did the companions behave like this? That’s why at times we “loose the plot” or just say anything that comes to mind, and yeah fair enough sometimes we do say the right things but that won’t always be the case. So let us take benefit from the incidents of others, and see their situation and learn how to deal with people, how to react and respond. Let use wisdom to create good ties and deal with the person in the best of manner and with good character, the way the Prophet, May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and the companions would.
Now At times, some people may grab your phone – without your permission – and begin to read your text messages or go through your gallery etc, which is bit nosey.
There was a time were the friend of Dr Al ‘Arifi was invited to a wedding party of a judge, and nearly all the invitees were renowned scholars. The friend sat amongst them engaged in deep conversation. Meanwhile, the presence of a mobile phone in his pocket really bothered him, so he decided to take it out and place it on the table, beside him. The respected scholar sitting next to him was quite involved in the conversation with him. Habitually, the respected scholar lifted the mobile phone resting on the table, and when he looked at the screen, his face changed and he returned the mobile phone to where it was. The friend noticed and tried his best to control his laughter.
When he left the party, our respected brother, sat with him in his car. He had placed his phone to his side. It happened that the brother picked up the phone, as the respected scholar in the wedding party did, and when he looked at the screen, he began to laugh hysterically. Do you know why?
Many people write various messages on their mobile phone screens, such as their name, or ‘Remember Allah’ etc. As for the friend, he had written, ‘Put the phone back, you nosy person!”
Many such people tend to interfere in other people’s personal matters. Hence, it becomes habitual for them to sit in the car with you, open up the glove compartment and look at what’s inside! A nosy woman would look into another woman’s handbag to take her lipstick or eye shadow. One of them may call you and ask where you are. When you say, “I have some work to do”, they would ask, “Where? Who is with you?” etc, and they continue, in which it then gets excessive and can get annoying. Some people we mix with often treat us in this manner. How do we deal with them?
One of the most important things you must not forget is to try to avoid the person as much as possible. Make sure no one becomes upset with you in the process. Be diplomatic whilst extracting your self from such situations without creating problems between yourselves. Gaining enemies or loosing friends must not be taken lightly, no matter what the cause may be.
One of the best ways of dealing with such intruders is by responding to a question by another question, or changing the topic altogether, thereby making him forget the question he asked. For example, if he were to ask you, “How much monthly salary do you make?” you could reply jokingly with a smile, “Why do you ask? Have you found a luring job for me?” If he says, “Not really, I just wanted to know”, you could say, “Salaries these days are a great problem. It seems to be caused by high oil prices!” He might then say, “Well, what do oil prices have to do with salaries?” You could then say, “Oil prices are what determine other prices. Don’t you see that wars happen because of it?” He may say, “No. That is not true. There are other reasons for wars. The world is full of wars nowadays…” Thus, he would forget about his initial question. Also he may just get the hint that no point in asking.
So what do you think? Did you not cleverly get out of the predicament?
Similarly, if he were to ask you about your job or where you will travel to next, simply ask him, “Why do you ask? Do you wish to travel with me?” He would say, “I don’t know, but tell me anyway!” You could say, “If you did travel with me, you would have to pay for the tickets!” He would then begin to speak about the tickets and forget the original topic.
This is how we can escape from such scenarios without causing problems amongst ourselves.
From ‘Aa’ishah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) who said that a man sought permission to enter upon the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, so he said “ Give permission to him and what a bad son of his people (or: what a bad man of his people). Then when he entered he spoke politely to him, ‘Aa’ishah said: So I said: O messenger of Allah, you said about him what you said and then you spoke politely to him? He said: O ‘Aa’ishah the worst people are those whom the people desert, or abandon, in order to save them selves from their evil speech.” ( Bukhari and muslim )
So as Muslims, we treat our close friends the way they deserved to be with love and our enemy with caution and the worst of people in a manner which doesn’t make it apparent of what we think of them in our hearts. Everyone is treated in the right way.
If you’ve had to face someone who interferes with matters that do not concern them, then be better than them. Try to seek the best exit from the situation without hurting them. We should also try to change ourselves and change any bad habits that we do have and use wisdom and remain patient.
——
Sources-
Extract taken from “Enjoy your life” By Dr. Muhammad ‘Abd Al-rahaman Al ‘Arifi
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